When my writing was at its best by Josh Salyers

I believe my writing was at its best in my personal reflection paper on essay 1. I used very descriptive language, dialogue, inner monologue, reflection, and anecdotes to highlight my story about my not so pleasant run ins with my high school chemistry teacher. In that paper, a good example of my writing would be, "She would often come out of her lecture into the hall to grab carelessly loud freshman who did not know to quiet down when they passed the dreaded room 137, and drag them to Cavello's office by the collar. Many people, even Mr. Lohre, complemented me on bits of writing such as this, which is why I feel that that personal narrative was one of the best pieces I have ever written.
Another place where I felt my English abilities really stood out was my presentation on Al Capone. I felt my research really coincided with accurate information that I had written on Al. That lead to an A on my presentation. My favorite blog post was my post on the Tet Offensive for the Vietnam research.


"The Tet Offensive was one of the largest military campaigns in the Vietnam War. It was launched on January 30, 1968, by the North Vietnamese Army and the Viet Cong against the South Vietnamese Army, the United States, and their allies. This military campaign was a series of surprise and guerrilla attacks against military and civilian centers throughout South Vietnam. The name of the military offensive come from the Tet holiday, the Vietnamese new year, when the first major attacks occured.

While the initial wave of NVA attacks took major cities from the U.S. and inflicted heavy casualties, the U.S regrouped and fought back, inflicting heavy casualties on the North Vietnamese. Major battles include the Battle of Khe Sanh, Saigon and the Battle of Hue, in which the NVA took control of the city, and executed thousands during their occupation. The U.S eventually destroyed the city to reclaim it. In Saigon and other cities, small teams of Viet Cong would go out and attack embassies and bases, killing civil servants, military personnel, and anyone who was allied against them, then large and numerous battalions would attack large U.S and South Vietnamese military bases. 

Whilst considered a military defeat for the North Vietnamese, who were dejected and utterly defeated by the offensive due to heavy loses, its effects on the U.S were profound. The American public was led to believe by political and military leaders that the Viet Cong were incapable of carrying out such a large, precise, and coordinated attack. After seeing that they were being lied too, the U.S public support for the war declined. This eventually led the U.S to seek peace negotiations in Vietnam."

 

I provided clear and accurate information based on what I had researched prior to writing.

 

  

When was my writing the best: Nick Sansone

Amanda and Regan: Andy Warhol

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Paige and Matt: Jimi Hendrix

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Travis and Phillip: Iwo Jima Flag Raising

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Lauren and Nick: D-Day Normandy

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Tia and Desiree: The L.A. Riots

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Hunter and Naomi: Marilyn Monroe

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Grant and Joe: Twin Towers in New York City

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Gabby and Matt: Miracle on Ice

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Review of MMM's "How to be Happy, Rich, and Save the world" by Gabby Biliran

In “How to be Happy, Rich, and Save the World,” Mr. Money Mustache starts off by mentioning how he thought that after 5.5 years of retiring, the blog would get boring for him and his posts would slow down. His desire for learning and keeping his project going overwhelms what could be boring, and is essentially what keeps him going. 

In this post, Mr. Mustache talks about how the project entailed involves convening people of the world’s rich countries to separate the idea of lifetime happiness and “buying expensive shit with which to pamper yourself.” According to him, combining the two is a human psychology problem as much as a financial, technical, or political one. Part of the project, according to him, includes reaching new groups of people. 90% of his traffic comes from the US, which is 5% of the countries population. To reach the other portion of the world’s population, he gave a presentation at the World Domination Summit. 

The best part of the blog post lies within the fact that instead of just mentioning or summarizing the presentation he gave, he went as far as to include the video of him speaking, as well as the power point presentation and the notes he used. With this, he makes it easier for other people to advocate in his project with their network. Because of this, he makes it an easy and enjoyable read, and does not give an overwhelming amount of information.

John and Josh: Al Capone

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

JD adn Vic: Jesse Owens

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Austin and Dathan: Manhatten Project

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Comments for Pauleina and Kirsten: Black Friday

For your comments on Presentations:

First, write about something well done.  What did you learn from this group?  What part of the Presentation seemed the best?  Be specific, and use a specific example from the Presentation and your notes.

Second, offer constructive criticism that would help this group. What might have been more clear?  What part of the Presentation seemed the least polished?  Be specific.

Regan Ross Mr. Money Mustache Review

"If You're Not Getting Rich in your 20's, You're Doing it Wrong"

     This article is referring to another article written by a writer for Elite Daily. The article he is referring to is called "If You Have Savings in your 20's, You're Doing it Wrong." This popular Daily Mail article explains that having fun and marketing yourself through being social in your 20's is more important than saving your money for the future. Mr. Money Mustache agrees with some of the ideas in the article but primarily disagrees.
     Mustache's ideas on the article are very clear in his writing. He agrees that marketing is important, but he does think that somewhat saving your money is a good idea. He claims that your 20's are the time for you to build your career so you can secure a better future for yourself in the long run. He explains that if you work hard, you will make more money, making you able to save more money. He claims that if you don't spend your money like an idiot, you will do fine. Mustache advises people in their 20's to work hard and use the majority of your time to work and make yourself better professionally, he says this will leave you satisfied and make you more money later in life because you will most likely move up in the workforce.
     "But all these younger people seem to just want to sit around and network and have cocktails. All the hard workers already run their own company. When you find that rare eligible workhorse, you grab her and shower her with money and opportunity, hoping she will accept. You need to be that lone workhorse, getting stuff done while everyone else is out late and living off of credit cards and parental subsidies. This is where money comes from."
     The article is very strong and gives many valid points. His ideas on how someone should behave in their 20's are actually very smart and realistic. His advice is not out of reach for anyone in the workforce during their 20's. The advice is real and success driven.
     I found this article very helpful and motivating. He explains that hard work after college does pay off. It pays off during your 20's and well after. I really enjoyed the article because it gave me a realistic perspective on how your 20's should be to ensure a better future. The advice does not at all leave out having fun, it just explains that work should be at the forefront for your life at that point in time, having fun can come after.

Review Writing Assignment from Austin Craig

"1400 Miles of Non-Driving in a Tesla" is Mister Money Mustache giving a story of his love-hate relationship with cars. He loves the experience of driving a car, but does not like what the cars do for the environment, including humans in the environment. Changing the subject again, he continues to tell readers about the projected future and the automaton for a car.

What I get from the article is contradiction. Money Mustache first spoke of the harmful effects of cars in the world, but goes on to praise the Tesla for its efficiency, lack of engine noise due to not having an engine, no gas tank, and it is very spacious. It is an electric brand of vehicles, but it still has effects on the roads. Also, how long will it be until we lose the ability to mass produce energy for an increasing number of recharge stations? How are we creating this energy? That factor is not explained in the article. Is our future destined to be driven by our electric cars anywhere we go? The autopilot feature of the Tesla brand is another method to making Americans the stereotype from which we wish to deviate. Americans do not want to be seen as obese and lazy, which is another contradiction to the author's desire to ride a bicycle around the small town in which he lives.

Review Writing Exercise- Hunter Bayer

Mr. Money Mustache's Own Story


This blog post is about Mr. Money Mustache's story of where he began in his life and summarized how he got to the point where it is today. He begins with his early childhood and how his family never bought a lot growing up. He talks about his first job as a paper boy and how he realized that the money hes making with job wont get him any where. He mentions how people who worked at Wal-Mart makes more than he did at the time. He then discusses his plan of staying home with his parents while attending at local college to save up as much as he can. He then discusses his life after college and how he spent his money and why he was able to retire at such an early part of his life.

This blog post is strong relating to most people who would read these blogs. Mr. MM's story is very believable and creates a strong connection between the blogger and reader. The chronological factor in the post helps give it flow and creates a story that makes his story seem real. Near the end it does raise the question as to how did he fully make it possible to retire early. Over all, the story has good pacing and makes it relate-able.

I can honestly say that Mr. MM's story is nearly identical to how my life experience has gone. He had a low paying job that didn't allow him to go too far in his life, he stayed home with his parents and went to a local college to earn an easy degree that would allow him to get a well paying. His plan is just like mine and I can completely relate to him. The only difference is that he has got past his college portion of his plan. His story makes me feel more comfortable with the way I'm saving money and approaching college.

mr. money mustache review - Lauren Cobb

The article "If I Ran the School, Things Would Be Different" describes Mr. Money Mustache's opposition of the ways that traditional schools inhibit a child's ability to learn and how that opposition   resulted in the decision to homeschool his own child, who was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. The article makes a good case for the virtues of homeschooling by first calling out the public school system for repressing a child's natural desire to learn by enforcing strict rules and structure that are ultimately unproductive. He uses his first hand experiences and observations as well as research to convincingly demonstrate the areas in which public schools are lacking. He then follows this up using the same method to describe the positive benefits of homeschooling his son and refuting common concerns parents have when considering taking their kids out of public school. While the argument is largely effective, his extreme viewpoints, in my opinion, could be off-putting to more traditional readers. I believe the article could be more effective had he proposed more realistic and conservative changes be made to the school system. The end result of this article is an effective and honest review of public schooling that brings to light many of it's flaws  that should be seriously considered, as well as making an argument for untraditional schooling. While I am not fully convinced home schooling is the best option for most students, I fully agree with his analysis of the public schools as someone who has experienced their flaws first-hand.

Nick Sansone tesla type-s

this money mustache was an informational article about the futuristic electric car and how tesla has been able to produce a fast, luxurious, user friendly car that is about 20 years ahead of its time. It explained how easy it is to "fill up" at its solar powered recharging stations that are free and open 24 hours a day. even though the price is up there, it is money well spent seeing how you never have to buy gas, it can drive itself, and it is a luxury sports car. it explained how much the car is, where you can recharge the battery, and if it really does drive itself. (it does actually, it uses censors placed all around the car to read a react to your surroundings)  as he states in this article, the tesla puts out a surprising 120,000 watts of recharge power and can completely recharge in about 30 minutes after 350 miles of usage. he explains that even though you have to stop more frequently to "fill up" than in a gas car, it actually makes traveling much more swift. after a few hours you get to get out, stretch, and even take some time to sit down and have a meal or snack while your car is recharging.

this article does a great job of making the sales pitch to me. it tells me just how awesome and futuristic a tesla is. its broken into sections to really let you take in all the information at one time. although, I was really looking forward to hearing more about the self driving and the trip they took which it provided little incite to. Although it did a fantastic job of explaining how the system works and that even more improvement are being made in the self driving car market. This entire article is just a huge sales pitch for tesla and how absolutely awesome it is

seeing as how our country has a serious problem with climate change it would be a perfect solution if we could all switch to electric cars. we would almost stop the release of toxic gasses into our atmosphere, stop the use of gas stations and use solar energy to help charge the car, and you get a nice, high class sports car that is fun and good for the environment